The infertility journey can be stressful, overwhelming, and lonely as it is not often discussed in the public eye. Individuals struggling to start a family may feel anxious, nervous, and isolated. Because infertility can be so unpredictable, couples may often feel confused and even a little helpless. The inability to reproduce naturally can cause shame, guilt, and low self-esteem. This can not only cause depression and anxiety but affects daily life. Managing stress healthily and using coping strategies can promote an overall healthy mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
Patient conversation with healthcare provider.
RHN Team Picture Bank
Stress is an emotional strain or tension caused by uncontrollable events or difficult situations causing anxiety and overwhelming feelings. Often people handle stress in different ways, and it can cause different responses in everyone. Stress could be due to a variety of factors such as work or school, relationships, anxieties, fears, or major life events. This causes the body to release hormones that relate to the “fight or flight” response. It can cause blood sugar spikes as well as other health responses as the body tries to balance the stress it is feeling. There are a lot of relaxation methods that can help calm and even prevent stress such as going for a walk, listening to music, finding a hobby, talking to someone, and even using breathing exercises. Eating a balanced diet and staying active while also getting a good night’s rest can promote a healthy lifestyle by lowering stress levels in the body.
Understand More About Stress And How It Affects The Body: HGIC 4392, What Happens in the Body During Stress.
Eight Coping Techniques for Those Struggling with The Stress of Infertility
- Feeling emotional and overwhelmed is completely normal and realistic.
Educate yourself about the normal responses and feelings of going through infertility. Some feel frustration, shock, depression, anger, and even a general loss of self-control and self-esteem. It is completely normal to feel a variety of emotions and even feel defeated in the process. It can be very discouraging, and some feel hopeless as infertility is not fully preventable and most people don’t expect to ever go through this experience.
- Having a community of family and friends as a support group can be greatly beneficial and limit feeling alone in this process.
Stay close with family and friends and talk to them about your experiences with infertility. Educate them and talk through treatment options, how you’re feeling, and even how they can help best support you and your spouse. Share knowledge and resources with them to help them to learn and understand infertility.
- Allow yourself to cry and be angry. It is completely okay to feel all of the emotions. Know that it is okay to feel this way.
Do not avoid or hide your feelings. Allow yourself to go through all the emotions you are feeling and reach out to those you love to help encourage you during this time. Tell them how you are feeling and practice coping and stress strategies to limit the negative effects infertility can have on your everyday life.
- Your spouse/partner may feel differently and may be processing their emotions in a different way than you have experienced.
It is important to communicate with your partner about your feelings and understand how they are coping similarly and differently. Supporting each other during this time is crucial and can build a bond as you go through infertility together.
- Try “The Twenty Minute Rule.” It can be an effective way to talk about infertility without it overwhelming the majority of your conversation.
“The Twenty Minute Rule” allows you to talk about infertility and how you are both feeling about it. It limits the time spent talking about this subject, so it does not become the center of your relationship. It helps promote healthy communication while encouraging couples to enjoy other conversation topics and make the most out of their time spent together. It is a great rule for couples to allow each other to bring up infertility and discuss it for 20 minutes and then move on.
- Tell your spouse how they can best help you and what would make you feel most loved.
Communicate with your partner about how you can best be supported and loved as you go through infertility. Sometimes avoiding gatherings with families with young children that may cause you to feel sad and excluded can be helpful. Some people appreciate the physical touch of being hugged while others want to have some space to process what they are going through before talking. Communicating these to your partner can limit confusion and unease. Ultimately, loving and supporting each other throughout the infertility journey can bring you closer together and provide comfort for one another as you share this experience.
- Calm anxious nerves by learning more and educating yourself and your partner.
Stress is commonly escalated by fears of the unknown and anxiousness about the next steps. Searching for reliable scientific information, talking to others with similar or previous experiences, and communicating with your physician can make a huge impact. Talk through treatment options with your doctor and what affects your medical condition to fully understand how to better improve your experience and promote a healthy lifestyle. Connecting with people who have been through similar situations not only helps you feel like you are not alone, but can also be a great support system.
- Find community support.
The National Infertility Association and some non-profit organizations offer support groups and guidance through your medical condition. Along with healthcare providers, they can be there to answer questions, help provide tips and useful resources to navigate the stressors of this condition. Connecting with others in the community going through similar situations and talking with experts can not only limit anxieties, but it can also provide a sense of comfort.
For more information about stress and tips for managing it in everyday life, check out HGIC 4368, Stress Management.
References:
- Rooney, K. L., & Domar, A. D. (2018). The relationship between stress and infertility.
- Dialogues in Clinical
- Neuroscience, 20(1), 41–47. https://doi.org/10.31887/dcns.2018.20.1/klrooney
- Coping techniques: RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. RESOLVE. (2022, February 9). https://resolve.org/get-help/helpful-resources-and-advice/managing-infertility-stress/coping-techniques/
- Fadi Yahya, M. D. (2022, August 24). Stress relief from infertility. Mayo Clinic Health System. https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/infertility-and-stress
